Category Archives: Uncategorized

What is it with straight men thinking that writing poetry makes them vulnerable? Or they need to apologize for indulging in this silly exercise? If I had to guess, I would say 1 out of 2 poems sent to me are followed by some form of self-flagellation. I literally watched a guy dent my carContinue reading “Where my before and afters aren’t so different”

I’m a little confused. Is this a beer pun? Is he calling Corona crap? Is the wine comment a reference to religion? Because lately, wine has definitely been my source of salvation. I think now is a good time to take a moment and pour one out for those who are going to need aContinue reading “That crap’s not on tap”

Ugh, pandemic fatigue is setting in harrrrd over here. As you’re probably aware, yesterday our administration declared another month of national lock down. Which sucks on an individual level but makes sense from a public health perspective. Here are other things I have done in these past two weeks: Made turkey meatballs from scratch AContinue reading “I’ll shoot my shot”

No. You know what’s sad, M? This sorry excuse for poetry. A result of zero internal introspection or wit. This is the intellectual equivalent of standing in a room and pointing at objects. There’s a lamp. That’s a couch. Yea, no shit Sherlock. I give it a C-. Also while we’re here, I need toContinue reading “Quarantine is sad”

Now how cute is this little “jingle”?? I do wonder if he’s actually tried very hard to find paper towels, because I’ve seen them plenty. There was indeed a shortage of paper products last week, but things are largely restocked now. Regardless, his is a cute take. An ode to paper products which is somethingContinue reading “Paper towels, where are you?”

Obviously, I encouraged A to write more. SO HE DID. I feel so seen. I’ve so longed for the day that a man’s first impression of me is an atheist, long-haired victim of the Salem witch trials who intimidates powerful men. Really it’s a dream come true. Unfortunately, yea – his profile is picture isContinue reading “Some men scream, “Terror””

I blurred out his preamble because it was a whole lot of irritating garbage about why he’s “not a good writer” and “don’t judge me”. Well, E, if you didn’t want to be judged, get the fuck off of online dating. That’s literally WHAT WE’RE ALL DOING HERE DUDE. So you and your thin skinContinue reading “‘Rona keeps me home”

M.F. definitely gets an A+. What delightful stanzas! Acknowledging the shitty pandemic situation we find ourselves in, as well as the absurdity of online, app-based dating. It’s quirky and well-written, with excellent rhyme scheme. Daring me to take a chance! You know what I think M.F. stands for? Maybe Fuckable. Good job M.F.

D and I actually met in person. In the above text chain, he’s referencing how we met up literally the night before our city declared all bars and restaurants go into total shut down. The place where he and I met for a drink had a few owl statues behind the bar, which I pointedContinue reading “Owls watch eyes sparkle”

Okay so I didn’t even have any time to respond to B because he unmatched from me shortly after I took this screenshot. I wondered briefly what would prompt someone to write a poem, ask for one back, and then remove any possibility of further connection. But then I remembered that his profile said heContinue reading “Thailand called…”