Sarah

Where my before and afters aren’t so different

What is it with straight men thinking that writing poetry makes them vulnerable? Or they need to apologize for indulging in this silly exercise? If I had to guess, I would say 1 out of 2 poems sent to me are followed by some form of self-flagellation. I literally watched a guy dent my carContinue reading “Where my before and afters aren’t so different”

That crap’s not on tap

I’m a little confused. Is this a beer pun? Is he calling Corona crap? Is the wine comment a reference to religion? Because lately, wine has definitely been my source of salvation. I think now is a good time to take a moment and pour one out for those who are going to need aContinue reading “That crap’s not on tap”

The Invisible Enemy

Did you just get chills? Because I just got chills. Unknowing givers? Screens that shout? Invisible enemy? It’s charming yet creepy. It’s full of wistful longing and then punches you in the gut with dread. Or maybe I’ve just watched too many of the President’s podium “updates” so my baseline emotion right now is persistentContinue reading “The Invisible Enemy”

I’ll shoot my shot

Ugh, pandemic fatigue is setting in harrrrd over here. As you’re probably aware, yesterday our administration declared another month of national lock down. Which sucks on an individual level but makes sense from a public health perspective. Here are other things I have done in these past two weeks: Made turkey meatballs from scratch AContinue reading “I’ll shoot my shot”

Trump ruined my dreams

The first limerick I’ve received! I LOVE a good limerick. With a rhyme scheme of A, A, B, B, A, I find them to be the most whimsical and bouncy of all the standard poetry structures. They usually have a lighthearted tone with the last line acting as “punchline” of sorts. This one however, kindaContinue reading “Trump ruined my dreams”

The police are coming

Did I just… help someone commit a crime…? FWIW: https://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/cleaning/cleaning-stain-removal/remove-blood-stains

No need to Panic

The whole “roses are red” thing is such an overused trope. There’s no law that says all poems MUST start with this pointless observation. If people could only substitute that throw-away opening line for something more innovative and clever, it would elevate everyone’s poetry game. That being said, I appreciate the public health references inContinue reading “No need to Panic”

Netflix and chill, Disney+ and thrust

Whelp. The Tinder crowd is reliably horny per usual. And brief. Fuckboys gonna fuck. Or at least try to. And yea, I left his name in there because it just felt a little too on the nose. I grade this a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Glad to see that in these crazy times, some things will never change.Continue reading “Netflix and chill, Disney+ and thrust”

Quarantine is sad

No. You know what’s sad, M? This sorry excuse for poetry. A result of zero internal introspection or wit. This is the intellectual equivalent of standing in a room and pointing at objects. There’s a lamp. That’s a couch. Yea, no shit Sherlock. I give it a C-. Also while we’re here, I need toContinue reading “Quarantine is sad”

Paper towels, where are you?

Now how cute is this little “jingle”?? I do wonder if he’s actually tried very hard to find paper towels, because I’ve seen them plenty. There was indeed a shortage of paper products last week, but things are largely restocked now. Regardless, his is a cute take. An ode to paper products which is somethingContinue reading “Paper towels, where are you?”